The Unofficial Rules and Guidelines for OTT Players.
1. (Added by Koy) Mike and Jay are godly. This is not an opinion, it is a fact. Their authority is not to be questioned or challenged. They own you. And your little dog, too.
2. (Added by Koy) Koy is demi-godly. You can challenge her authority if you like, but it isn’t recommended. She can be hellishly scary if she tries really hard. And besides, the god!mods like her.
3. (Added by Koy) Friendly relations with the mods are encouraged. It doesn’t help to dislike the people who own your quivery little soul.
4. (Added by Koy) Friendly relations with the other players are also encouraged. They are your family. You do not always have to like your family to tolerate them.
5. (Added by Koy) Problems? Take ‘em to the mods.
6. (Added by Koy) Try not to kill anyone.
7. (Added by Koy) Maiming is also frowned upon. But not so much depending on the circumstances.
8. (Added by Amber) Love Koy.
9. (Added by Amber) No, seriously. LOVE KOY.
10. (Added by Amber) Now you can love Jay and Mike.
11. (Added by Beth) See Rule #8.
12. (Added by Amber) We mock. You mock. It's part of the OTT love so show some spine. We'll mock that too.
13. (Added by Beth) No spazzing when it's your turn to be picked on. Just take it and move on with your life.
14. (Added by Amber) We love cats. They love you too. If not, then Crookshanks will set Sauron's minions on your felinephobic ass.
15. (Added by Koy) It is not recommended to speak ill of Tom Riddle in Koy’s presence. She will hurt you. A lot.
16. (Added by Amber) We love slash. Nothing against you het people, but if you have a problem with boy on boy or a bit of girl-girl love, then you really shouldn't be here. Maybe the local bigoted service center would be the place for you.
17. (Added by Koy) We also love het. Not everyone fancies their own sex. Accept it. It helps to be well-rounded.
18. (Added by Beth) No messing with the Tom/Pansy pairing. You will be severely mauled for trying to break it apart. This goes for the H/D OTP as well.
19. (Added by Amber) Harry is queer ... except when Jay says that he's straight, but then we all know that Jay is in denial.
20. (Added by Mandy) Zombie!Fred also owns your soul. There is no way around this.
21. (Added by Mandy) People who you think have UST (Unresolved Sexual Tension) really don't, and those who you don't suspect are secretly shagging in the broom closet on the third floor. I'll wait here while you go check.
21a. (Added by Amber) When checking, don't join in. You'll get marked as another "Terry" .. unless, of course, you are Terry.
21b. (Added by Mandy) And if it is Terry in the closet, follow these steps. a) Back away--but do not turn your back on him. b) Do not make eye contact. c) Move away as swiftly as possible. When he is out of site, you are free to flee.
22. (Added by Beth) It is inevitable that Terry will hit on you. When this happens, don't panic. Just find the nearest tub of bleach and dive in.
23. (Added by Mandy) Don't underestimate Colin Creevey.
23a. (Added by Koy) Seriously. It’s always the ones you least expect.
23b. (Added by Mandy) Koy may look innocent. However, do not piss her off, or she will cut you up, put you into ziplock bags, and distribute you to little children as playdough.
24. (Added by Amber) There is a 99% chance that the mods will fuck with your character. If you have any objections, you can leave it in the dropbox after which we will mock your idea endlessly. See Rule no. 12 for further information on mocking.
25. (Added by Beth) Be prepared to have your brain/purity/outlook on a certain character/being in general shattered in OOC Chats. Especially when the Mods are involved.
27, er, 26. (Added by Amber) When all else fails, heart on Koy. It works. Really.
27, seriously this time. (Added by Mandy) Amber is organized, but please don't rely on her to do math for you.
28. (Added by Amber) The only people who belong in the Field of Innocence are KM and naked!Jay. Sorry, Amber, but you just haven't made the cut since your sixth birthday.
28a. (Added by Amber) If you don't think that naked!Jay belongs in the Field of Innocence, go ahead and try to take it up with him. Really. Go right ahead. Go on.
29. (Added by Mandy) Mandy can pervert anything. Do not contest this, the results won't be pretty. Minesweeper, anyone?
30. (Added by Mandy) Incase you forgot, Zombie!Fred still owns your soul.
31. (Added by Koy) Any mention of curtains indicates that Koy is off to kill herself again and as usual, it is all your fault.
31a. (Added by Amber) Yes, it is all your fault. Any dispute will result in a visit from Crookshanks and his evil Sauron!minions.
31b. (Added by Mandy) But all will be forgiven if you present Koy with a mental image of a scantily clad Tom in a seductive pose. Go on. Try it.
32. (Added by Amber) Mike is that silent brooding evil that lurks on the edges of your nightmares, aka the Boogieman ... but don't call him that unless you really want a visit.
32a. (Added by Koy) Seriously. He steals candy from babies and everything.
32b. (Added by Mandy) ...And then he steals the babies.
33. (Added by Mandy) Jay and Mike are not responsible for the blackouts in the northeast on August 14th.
33a. (Added by Mandy) Honestly.
33b. (Added by Mandy) And even if they were, we certainly wouldn't tell you.
34. (Added by Mandy) If you ever seriously mention any of these words, you will promptly be drawn and quartered: Twincest, Malfoycest, Weasleycest, Creeveycest, Terrysex.
35. (Added by Koy) Be good and have fun. Or we’ll hunt you down and kill you. Seriously.
If we've missed anything, or you want to add one, comment here.
(And also Mandy, Amber and Beth, even if they aren't posting this)